SANTACON DESERTER ARRESTED
XXX-mas Tree Girl Gets 'Lit Up', Streaks Through Times Sq
SANTACON COKE RAID
Candy 'Caine' Girl Busted With Snow
Over the weekend Marni and I participated in Santacon, a city-wide pub crawl where thousands of co-eds dress up in Santa suits and bar hop around New York City. I dressed up as a Christmas tree and Marni as a candy cane. This was nothing more than a gesture of defiance against the two costume options embraced by Santacon's female participants year after year: Skanky Santa and Slutty Elf, both of which the event saw no shortage of in ‘09.
I endured a week of sobriety to prepare myself for the day's festivities, only to stumble home in a whiskey haze and pass out by 3pm, Marni by 4. Needless to say, we ain’t what we used to be. But as a consolation for our lameness, we came up with a new batch of New York Post headlines (our favorite pastime) to illustrate what was certain to have gone down had we continued Santacon-ing after sunset.
Amelia, is that a Big Gulp?
ReplyDeleteMarni, your dress actually IS cocaine.
UPDATE: XXX-mas Tree Girl filing libel suit against Martha Stewart stating that her "shatterable [ornament] balls [display her]shatterable promises".
ReplyDeletehahaha can i post videos on here?
ReplyDeleteholy s. where do you come up with this stuff? so funny.
ReplyDelete