Are you there God? It's me, Amelia, wondering why you are trying to speak to me through my Blackberry's predictive text
Instead of getting 'stoned' you think I should get 'atoned.' Was it you who willed that cast-iron No Smoking sign to fall on my foot in college - the one semester where I took up smoking cigarettes rather ambitiously?
This is the truth sister! I'm pissed at god, like usual. Every time I try to write hell, it magically turns to he'll. what? is it because it's your arch enemies home? grow the fuck up jesus!
God always tries to use the word "Whatchamacallit" on my phone. Who the fuck says that?!
ReplyDeleteAre you there Vodka? It's me, Aaron.
ReplyDeleteThis is the truth sister! I'm pissed at god, like usual. Every time I try to write hell, it magically turns to he'll. what? is it because it's your arch enemies home? grow the fuck up jesus!
ReplyDeleteDude, a new one's been bother, I mean, plaguing me....
ReplyDeleteGIVE corrects to HIV.
He's wrong! God's wrong! I swear!